GREGG'S COMPUTER CAMP: KILOBYTES OF FUN OR... TERROR?
In the summer of 1983, Brier, Washington was abuzz with excitement. Gregg Thompson, a self-proclaimed computer whiz, had just announced the opening of "Gregg’s Computer Camp." The camp promised two weeks of intensive computer training, and with the catchy slogan, "Come have kilobytes of fun!", it was an instant hit among tech enthusiasts and parents eager to give their children a head start in the burgeoning world of computing.
The camp was set in a sprawling mansion that Gregg claimed was "fully equipped with the latest computer technology." Excited campers arrived with dreams of becoming the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. Little did they know, the camp would soon turn into a digital nightmare.
On the first day, campers were introduced to their "state-of-the-art" computers: the GreggMaster 3000. It was a bulky, beige box with a tiny green screen. Gregg enthusiastically explained that these machines were "top of the line," but many campers quickly realized they were just repainted old televisions with keyboards glued to them.
The "coding lessons" were even more bizarre. Instead of teaching actual programming languages, Gregg had campers typing out nonsensical commands like "RUN FUN" and "PRINT JOY." When one camper pointed out that these commands made no sense, Gregg simply responded, "That's the beauty of the GreggMaster 3000. It understands the language of fun!"
Things took a darker turn when the campers were introduced to "The Matrix Room." Gregg described it as a "virtual reality experience." In reality, it was just a dark room with blinking Christmas lights and a fog machine. Campers were told to "connect with the mainframe" by dancing around and chanting "I am one with the code."
By the end of the first week, many campers were growing frustrated. Their "projects" consisted of paper mache computer mice and drawings of floppy disks. The promised "kilobytes of fun" seemed more like "bytes of boredom."
But the real chaos began when Gregg announced the "Overnight Coding Challenge." Campers were locked in the mansion and told they couldn't leave until they "cracked the code." The code, it turned out, was just a jumbled mess of letters and numbers that Gregg had scribbled on a whiteboard.
Panic ensued. Some campers tried to escape through windows, while others formed a rebellion against Gregg. By morning, the mansion was in disarray, with computer parts scattered everywhere and Gregg tied up with computer cables.
The camp was promptly shut down, and parents were refunded (in GreggMaster 3000 tokens, of course). Gregg’s Computer Camp became a legend in Brier, not as a hub of technological innovation, but as a hilarious and cautionary tale of one man's delusional vision of the digital future.
And so, the camp that promised "kilobytes of fun" delivered just that, but not in the way anyone expected. The campers may not have learned much about computers, but they certainly got a crash course in the unpredictability of life and the importance of reading the fine print!
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